Part of fostering social-emotional development is helping kids learn that mistakes and failure are a part of life that help us learn. Their little brains are still maturing and they make mistakes…a lot. It teaches that getting caught is the real problem. Related reading: What is Positive Parenting and How Does it Help My Child?ģ. The elf watching from a shelf undermines the idea that we have rules for important reasons. The old adage of asking kids to do something “because I said so” is long behind us primarily because we know it doesn’t work. At its core, positive parenting helps kids understand the meaning and reasoning behind the rules and limits we set. One of the biggest reasons I started looking for an alternative to Elf on the Shelf was because the concept didn’t support my belief in positive parenting. This goes along with #1, but it’s slightly different. One of the core principles of positive parenting is to actually help kids focus on the behavior we want them to do.Ģ. Personally (and research backs me up on this), I think fostering kindness in our kids is much more powerful than simply telling them to avoid doing “bad” things. Sure, kids need to know the difference between right and wrong, but I’m not sure being labeled “naughty or nice” is the best way to do it. I know the “naughty and nice” list is prevalent during the holiday season, but to me, this really harkens back to 1950s-style parenting. It teaches kids to avoid doing “bad” but doesn’t actually foster good. It’s an elf after all let’s not take ourselves too seriously. Note: if you love your Elf tradition and think it fits well with your parenting, please don’t consider this a judgment on you or your choices.
However, I do think it brings up a few interesting points to consider about kids’ social-emotional development. Now, stay with me here folks, I’m not doing some in-depth psychological analysis of the Elf. Secondly, after thinking about it a bit, I realized that Elf on the Shelf pretty much represents everything I dislike about modern-day parenting culture. First off, the little guy just creeps me out and thinking about him sitting around my house took me back to childhood fears of clowns and dolls that had moving eyes (it was the 80s, okay and we watched WAY too much TV).
I’m barely making it through the day, I don’t need another ‘chore’ to do each night.” My son didn’t push the issue much further, but I made a mental note to look for an alternative to Elf on the Shelf.Ī few glances at the actually Elf on the Shelf and some of the posts I saw on Facebook made me immediately realize why my first reaction had been to look for an alternative tradition. I gave my son a vague answer but in the back of my mind, I was thinking, “I have a very energetic toddler at home. The underlying question, of course, was “why don’t we have an elf that visits at night?” At the time, the whole Elf on the Shelf phenomenon was relatively new to me. When my older son was in about 2nd grade, he came home one day after Thanksgiving with news that “all” his friends had elves that “comes alive” at night. Sneak peek: Looking for an alternative to Elf on the Shelf? A few reasons to consider looking for a more thoughtful holiday tradition.
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